An Animorph Insanity
by FishOutOfWater
Summary: A parody. What if the yeerks don't exist, and the Animorphs are really insane?


An Animorph Insanity 

(Author's notes: Hehe, just another funny little story produced by Misty. The Animorphs are always saying at the beginning of their books things like "Maybe I'm crazy." Well, what if they really were?) 

The parents of the 'animorphs' all sat down together. The meeting had been called by Jake Carson's parents. Knowing they called over the parents of their known friends. Sitting their was Jake's parents, Rob and Marie, Cassie's parents, Carl and Julie, Marco's dad, Kyle, and Rachel's parents, Brittany and Aaron. 

"Welcome, sit down," said Rob. "Before we start, my wife will remind us why we all gathered here." 

"As you all know," Marie began, "Our children have been acting a bit strangely lately. It seems as though they are convinced they are fighting an evil known as the yeerks." 

"Yada, yada," said Kyle. "And, of course, we all spent the past few months gathering proof of this, and we're going to show it. Let's hurry and get started." 

"All right then," we'll go first," said Brittany. "Here is a photograph of our daughter in the privacy of her room." 

---------------- 

PHOTO: 

Rachel- Is looking at a worm. In this picture, she has brutally slammed it into her hand. It can be seen in the back corner that she has a whole container of these worms that have been crushed. She has a sneer on her face. 

--------------- 

"She was saying 'die, yeerks, die!' as we took that," said Aaron. "It was the oddest thing." 

"All right," said Rob. "Next?" 

"Julie and I have an audio sample," said Carl. "This is one of the meetings our kids were having in our livestock barn. They were making some sort of plans to rid the yeerks." He pushed his tape recorder on play. 

-------------------------- 

AUDIO SAMPLE: 

"All right everyone, we have more evidence the yeerks have a new kandrona pool!" exclaimed Rachel. 

"We need a plan, oh fearless leader," Cassie said to Jake. 

"Well, I think we should break into the building where the kandrona is," said Jake. "And then we bomb it in our battle morphs!" 

"Sounds good!" yelled Marco. 

"Wait a minute," said Cassie quietly. "What about all the innocent people there?" 

"You've gotta make sacrafices, Cassie," Said Rachel. "What do you think, Tobias?" she asked pointing at the hawk. 

Silence..... 

"I knew you'd agree Tobias! You make such a good boyfriend!" 

The Hawk flew off. 

"Hey! Stay here! You're part of our group!" 

"So, let's go right now!" Jake cried. 

"All right! Flying morphs!" said Marco 

----------------------------- 

"One time I was taking a walk in the woods, and I found them," said Kyle. "So I took this video." 

--------------------------- 

VIDEO SAMPLE 

"Where are the Chinchilas we need to aquire?" asked Jake. 

"Right here," Cassie replied, picking it up. It bit her. "Oww, we have to aquire you!" 

"I thought animals were supossed to go into a trance?" asked Marco. "Right, Tobias?" 

Silence 

"I knew you would agree," said Marco. "Now, let's put our hands on this Chinchula. A couple minutes later, everyone took their hands off of it, their hands now covered with bites. 

"Oww, let's morph now!" said Rachel. 

The Animorphs took off all their clothes and ran into the bushes in their underwear. Then, they threw out four chilchilas. 

"Oh, getting used to this morph is so hard!" Cassie yelled from the bushes. 

"I'm out of control!" Marco shouted. 

A couple minutes later, all the crazy shouting ended. "Is everyone used to the morph?" asked Jake. 

"Yeah!" called Marco. 

"All right demorph!" Jake called. 

But just as they were about to demorph, a hawk came and picked up one of the chinchilas. 

"Tobias! You just picked up Rachel!" Cassie called. "Tobias?" 

Silence. 

"Gaaah, I'm gonna die!" Rachel called from the bushes and played dead. Everyone else ran out of the bushes and quickly changed back into their clothes. 

------------------------ 

"Hmmm, interesting," said Rob. "Now, we have a couple of pieces of evidence. First, we have a video." 

------------------------ 

VIDEO SAMPLE 

"Come on let's find Ax!" Jake called. "We need his and Erek's information!" 

"Oh wait, Erek is here," said Marco. He pointed to a k'nex toy. "So Erek, what does the yeerk pool look like?" 

Silence 

"What, it's that big?" asked Cassie. "How about the people?" 

silence 

"Uh-oh, they're that bad?" 

"Look, Ax is here!" Called Rachel. She gestured toward Jake, who had just walked out of the rec room carrying a toy dinosaur. "So Ax, can you help us with this mission?" 

Jake squeezed the toy. "Reptar!" it called. 

"Oh good, I'm glad you can make it," said Marco. "Let's prepare." 

"You know Ax, things have sure changed since Elfangor gave us the morphing gift in the remnents of that space ship," said Cassie, looking at a lego space ship with the pieces mostly gone. 

"We're sure glad you came, though," Jake said. "Now we can destroy evil Visser 3!" Jake pointed at the ceiling. On the ceiling light, he had hung a large toy dinosaur. "Let's go get him!" 

-------------------- 

"And, finally, and exerpt from a book Jake appears to be writing," said Marie. "Take a look at it." 

------------------ 

BOOK EXERPT 

My name is Jake. I can't tell you my last name or where I live. In fact, this may not even be my real name. The fact is, trouble is out there. And their names are Yeerks. 

What are they? They are slugs. They need to have a host to live. And they are planning to infest our race with these slugs. You never know who is one. Even someone I know is one: my brother, Tom. 

We are the Animorphs. Me, Rachel, Marco, Cassie, our hawk friend, Tobias, and the andalite, Axmili. We fight the Yeerks. We are earth's only hope. We received the power to morph from a dying andalite, Elfangor. With this power we can aquire any animal's DNA. When we morph into animals, we can do more than as humans..... 

---------------- 

"Well, I think that's all the evidence anyone has," said Aaron. 

"So, what should we do to handle our children?" asked Julie. 

The parents thought for a minute. Just as Kyle opened his mouth to speak, somebody opened the front door. Standing there was a policeman with Jake, Cassie, Marco, and Rachel in handcuffs. 

"These are all your children, I assume," The policeman said. 

"Yes they are," Kyle told him. 

"Well, they were found hiding at the site where a bomb went off in their underwear. Bombs were found attached to a tiger, wolf, bear, gorilla, and hawk. These children claim they were these animals." 

"All right! We saved some controllers!" Jake cried. "High five!" All the members exchanged high fives. 

"No more yeerks in the mall!" Rachel called. 

"They keep claiming they were trying to stop an alien race, the yeerks. They seem to think they have done good to the human race by taking all those lives." 

"Well, we've been worried about our children for a while," said Brittany. "That's why we called this meeting." 

"We were just trying to figure out what to do with them," added Aaron. 

"Don't worry anymore," the policeman said. "They're being sent to a mental institution for children." 

"What? We can't save the yeerks there anymore!" announced Marco. 

"And I can't aquire any more animals!" Cassie sobbed. 

"We're leaving now!" The policeman called, dragging them out the door. "So they won't cause any more trouble!" The parents just sat there, feeling stupid they hadn't gotten their children help before it was too late. 

The yeerks never did exist. The Animorphs books were little more than fiction written by children who were not right in the head. We, the humans, are safe from other races. Never believe otherwise. 

You can't believe everything you read. 

THE END 


End file.
